Cruising is incredible—once you survive the parts no one talks about.
Most people only post the good stuff: sunset selfies, poolside drinks, tropical ports. But they leave out the WiFi that barely works, the hidden gratuities, and the rude passengers who act like they own the ship. I learned the hard way that cruising comes with a side of chaos.
I took a few hits on my early cruises, but once I learned what to avoid, everything changed. These 16 things nearly ruined the ride—but figuring them out turned cruising into the dream vacation everyone raves about.
When Adults Act Worse Than Kids on a Cruise
Rude, self-absorbed passengers seem intent on making everyone else’s life onboard a misery. I’ve seen it all—from cutting in buffet lines to hogging elevators and being ignorant to staff. One cruiser lamented, “Some of the rudest people I’ve met have been on cruise ships.”
Do you want to avoid rude cruise passengers like avoiding a reef in stormy waters? First, I never confront anyone displaying obnoxious behavior. Getting into a fight is a surefire way of getting kicked off a cruise ship. I also avoid the buffet at peak time and always take the stairs if possible.
One cruise passenger gave top-notch advice, “Head to quieter areas of the ship if things get too rowdy. And if someone oversteps the line, report them to security. I don’t want anyone ruining my cruise vacation.”
The 5 a.m. Chair Hog Ritual (And Why It Drives Me Crazy)
Chair hogs are every cruiser’s worst enemy—nothing’s more infuriating than showing up early to a quiet pool deck, only to find every lounger “claimed” by a towel.
One early morning jogger told me about their amusement as they jogged the track at 5 a.m. What did they witness? Bleary-eyed passengers, hair sticking up and stumbling over chairs as they reserved their spot for later in the morning. Come on—five in the morning!
I usually avoid the main pool deck and head to quieter places on the ship to enjoy the sunshine. I buy a spa pass for a few occasions when I want to spend time in the pool. Some cruise lines, like Celebrity Cruises and Royal Caribbean, have adult-only retreats that are usually quiet.
Thankfully, chair hogs also annoy cruise staff. One cruiser suggested, “Just report those empty, towel-covered chairs to the staff—they’ll usually clear them out.”
The Buffet Line Monsters No One Warned Me About
The buffet should be a highlight—but some passengers turn it into a horror show. I’ve seen it all: fingers dipped into shared trays, line-cutting free-for-alls, people munching mid-scooping, and coughs flying with no cover. It’s enough to make you lose your appetite.
One cruiser summed it up perfectly: “It’s a free-for-all—people pile their plates like it’s their last meal and act like they’re the only ones in line.” Another described seeing someone eats with their fingers, lick them, and pick something from the next tray. One passenger told me he saw one passenger act as if the buffet would soon run out of food.
To avoid buffet mayhem, I usually arrive at off-peak hours for a more pleasant experience. I’ll also plan some evenings in the main dining room. Some cruisers complain that the buffet food is consistently below par anyway. After all, the ship’s kitchen cannot produce gourmet food for thousands of buffet-goers daily.
The Kids Were Louder Than the Engine
If you’ve ever cruised during school break, you know the deal—your relaxing getaway can quickly turn into a floating daycare. From cannonballs soaking your sunbed to kids sprinting down corridors like it’s Olympic tryouts, the chaos is very real (and widely dreaded).
I have two strategies to ensure a kids-free cruise. First, book with an adults-only cruise line like Virgin Voyages or Viking Cruises. You’ll also find that small luxury cruise ships are virtually child-free. Second, book a cruise during off-peak seasons when prices are lower, and kids are at school. Bliss—apart from, of course, adults who cannot behave onboard.
One fellow passenger told me they always book Mediterranean cruises in the early fall. During September and October, few families are on board, and the weather is still pleasant. Another cruiser suggested booking longer cruises of eight days or more as families avoid these voyages.
Embarkation and Disembarkation Chaos: A Cattle-Call Nightmare
Getting on board my first cruise felt like getting herded onto a cattle truck. I remember vividly standing shoulder-to-shoulder with other sweaty passengers in a snaking line. I thought I was never going to get on board. I agreed with one fellow who said it was worse than airport security.
One cruiser said: “Boarding and leaving the ship are the two worst parts of cruising, and what makes it worse are elevator hogs, line cutters, and people who don’t wash their hands.” Another commented about disembarkation, “I hate leaving my luggage outside my room for hours on the day before disembarkation.”
Now, I avoid the embarkation and disembarkation madness with a few simple hacks. I pay extra for priority boarding, check-in online, and arrive at the ship before the crowds. Another trick is to opt for self-assist disembarkation. You take your own bags off and skip the chaos. So, timing is everything.
Further reading: 15 Things Smart Cruisers All Do On Cruise Embarkation Day.
Relaxation? Only After I Skipped the Spa Pitch
Just when you think you’ve scored a great cruise deal, the upsell parade begins. Spa treatments, “can’t-miss” seminars, staged photos, overpriced bling—it’s a non-stop assault on your wallet. And trust me, it adds up fast if you’re not ready.
One passenger summed it perfectly: “The trend of nickel-and-diming is tiresome. I feel like I’m running the gauntlet in an expensive mall. It’s supposed to be relaxing and fun, not non-stop stress to avoid pushy salespeople.”
I always go prepared on a cruise to avoid high-pressure sales zones. Usually, politely declining sales pitches works. If you decide to get a spa, be prepared for the expensive beauty product upsell at the end. You’ll usually find the same products cheaper ashore if you really want them.
I Lost Track of My Wallet By Day 2
Cruise lines love to sell the dream of an all-inclusive escape—but the reality hits different. Sure, your meals and cabin are covered, but the fun stuff? That’s where the upcharges begin. Everything you actually want costs extra.
Unfortunately, you can lose control of onboard spending as fast as a ship capsizing in a violent storm. Items for which you’ll pay premium prices include specialty restaurants, gourmet coffees and teas, spa treatments, alcoholic drinks, sodas, and yoga sessions.
To drop anchor on your spending, focus on free onboard activities and set a spending limit before you board. If necessary, prepay extras by purchasing a drinks package, spa treatments, and specialty dining venues.
The Tip Trap: What They Don’t Tell You About Gratuities
Gratuities aren’t just a tip—they’re practically mandatory. Most cruise lines tack on 18–20% to spa treatments, drinks, and more, and it adds up fast. If you don’t factor it in, the final bill will hit harder than a rogue wave.
I always prepay gratuities when booking my cruise to avoid a nasty surprise when I get my final bill. I also plan for tipping individual crew members who are especially helpful, especially the cabin steward. So, I always pack enough small bills for tipping.
Helpful advice came from one fellow cruiser. He strongly recommended finding out the cruise line tipping policies to avoid tipping double on drinks in the bar. If you’ve got a beverage package and paid for gratuities, there is no need to give an additional tip.
Want to avoid paying gratuities altogether? Book a cruise with Virgin Voyages, Azamara, or Regent Seven Seas—these lines include gratuities in the fare. MSC Cruises, on the other hand, typically charges gratuities unless there’s a special promotion that includes them, so make sure to verify their policy for your specific sailing.
Sharing a Hot Tub With 12 Strangers? No Thanks
I thought I’d found paradise when I stepped onto the sunny cruise deck—until I saw the pool. Every lounger was claimed, the pool was standing-room-only, and the hot tubs? Overrun by splashing kids and shoulder-to-shoulder bodies. As one guest joked, “It was like a lukewarm people stew.”
The best advice I got from sensible cruise passengers was to go early morning or late evening for swimming. A game-changer was buying a spa pass—it was worth every cent to turn a stressful cruise into a sea of calmness and tranquility. Adult-only retreats also tend to be devoid of crowds.
When Cruise Passengers Forget Basic Hygiene
Nothing kills cruise vibes faster than watching someone dig into the buffet with their bare hands—or walk straight out of the restroom without washing up. I’ve seen it all: skipped sanitizer stations, coughs into hands, fingers in the food. And while this happens everywhere, getting sick in the middle of the ocean? That’s a nightmare no one signed up for.
One friend told me that on their last cruise, someone was coughing and spluttering at the next table. Needless to say, they got the flu and spent the rest of their cruise cooped up in the cabin. Another cruiser says they frequently get the 24-48 bug on cruise ships.
I always carry hand sanitizer and avoid touching shared surfaces as much as possible. Keeping your hands clean and being mindful of hygiene makes a big difference onboard.
I Needed Alone Time — But the Ship Had Other Plans
You expect a vacation escape—what you sometimes get is a floating fishbowl. One cruiser said, “I couldn’t even find five minutes alone on the ship.” Another watched their neighbor’s head suddenly appear over the balcony wall like a curious meerkat. It’s hard to unwind when you’re always on display.
To reclaim some space, I always book a balcony room whenever possible. Thankfully, I’ve never experienced neighbor intrusions like some cruisers. I also ask my cabin attendant about the lesser-known lounges or quiet corners of the ship.
However, a game-changer for my cruise experience was this: plan to stay on board for at least one or more days in port. You can enjoy an almost empty ship. Use the time to use the pool in tranquility, take advantage of discounts, and enjoy a slice of serenity.
Wasting Half the Day Waiting to Explore
Cruise excursions promise adventure—but sometimes feel like a never-ending game of “hurry up and wait.” From standing in line to disembark, to waiting on latecomers for the bus, the excitement quickly fizzles. One cruiser put it best: “By the time we finally got going, half the day was gone—and so was my energy.”
On the positive side, I found that booking cruise ship excursions has some security. First, you get priority disembarkation. And the ship will wait for you if the excursion is late returning to port.
These days, I usually book private tours through respected online tour operators. I’m also in the habit of disembarking the ship early and exploring the port city before arriving at the excursion departure point. Another tip? A seasoned traveler suggested, “If you want to do a group excursion, go for the smaller, specialized ones. That way, you still get the experience without the sluggish pace of large groups.”
Cruise Cabins: Where Privacy Goes to Die
The thin cabin walls were an unexpected surprise on my first cruise. You wouldn’t believe what I’ve heard on cruises—everything from doors banging to arguments and intimate shenanigans. One cruiser laughed, “I didn’t even need a wake-up call—my neighbors did the job for me.”
The simple solution is this: pack earplugs or noise-canceling headphones to avoid being in the audience to your neighbor’s bedroom antics. Another cruiser suggested, “Pick a room in the middle of the hallway to avoid noise from elevators and stairs.” With some foresight, you can get the peace and quiet you deserve.
Cruise Comfort? Not in the Cheap Cabins
Unless you pay for a mid-range to luxury stateroom, expect a cabin that is more downscale than motels in your hometown. I hate that basic cabins on cruise ships are cramped, with barely enough room to move. And don’t get me started on the single-ply toilet paper. One cruiser lamented, “For me, the cruise bathroom experience could test the patience of angels.”
If you can afford it, I’d suggest opting for a balcony cabin to enjoy the best views, fresh air, and extra space. A cruise passenger once told me, “I always bring a few real rolls of toilet paper for a little home-from-home comfort.” Another great tip is to bring higher-quality toiletries, especially if you’ve booked a cheaper cabin.
Slow, Spotty, and Overpriced: Welcome to Cruise WiFi
Paying for a WiFi package that’s as slow as sailing the doldrums is hugely frustrating. You can pay more for the internet for seven days than you pay a month at home. And don’t expect super-fast broadband speeds either. One cruiser said, “It’s like paying for WiFi in the Stone Age.”
Now, I try to manage my expectations. I’ve found that purchasing a third-party eSIM data plan is cheaper for cellular and data connectivity in ports. For days at sea, I plan a digital detox. I found that lowering my expectations leads to less frustration on the ship.
Rushed Port Days Took the Fun Out of Exploring
Exploring new ports is the highlight of cruising—until the clock starts ticking. You’ve barely settled into the rhythm of a new place when it’s time to sprint back to the ship. One cruiser nailed it: “Just when I was getting into the vibe, it was already time to rush back. Total buzzkill.”
Now, I focus on one key activity or spot at each port instead of cramming too much. Another great tip? “Book excursions that prioritize free time so you can explore at your own pace,” said a fellow traveler. That way, you make the most of the limited hours without feeling rushed.
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