It seemed like the best way to get the bartender’s attention—the cruiser strolled up to the busy bar and immediately snapped their fingers a few times. And it worked. The bartender came over, smiling, and took the passenger’s order.
That’s the part some people miss.
The crew member may not react. You won’t see them roll their eyes, challenge the rude passenger, or say what everyone nearby is thinking. They’re expected to stay polite and professional, even when a passenger is being rude. But other passengers notice. They see the gesture, the tone, and the way the passenger treated the crew member like they were beneath them.
Spend enough time in the main dining room, and you’ll see the same scenario play out. It may not always be a finger snapping. It could be someone waving sharply at the server as if they’re hailing a cab in rush hour.
Plenty of people are thinking it, even if no one says it out loud—entitlement looks ugly from across the bar.
Why Crew Usually Smiles Instead of Answering Back
Cruise ship crew members are often very good at smiling through things they should never have to smile through. Obnoxious behavior, impoliteness, arrogance—you name it, they put up with it.
That’s part of the power imbalance. A passenger can click their fingers, bark orders, complain about nothing, or talk down to a server, and the crew member has to stay calm. They’ve got a contract, a supervisor, and a job they need to protect.
Many crew members work far from home on long contracts, with demanding schedules and income that can depend partly on gratuities. During a shift, they may be remembering names, drink orders, cabin requests, and special routines.
That’s why the smile can be misleading.
It doesn’t mean the crew member is happy about getting treated badly. They’re just doing their job, keeping things moving, and staying professional.
The Small Behaviors That Give Passengers Away
Crew members and experienced cruisers often point out that finger snapping is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to passengers acting with entitlement.
You’ll see it when someone taps on the bar while everyone else is waiting for their turn. Or the passenger who shouts an order without looking up from their phone. In the dining room, it might be the guest who talks over the server, snaps about a missing side dish, or acts as if “please” costs extra.
But it’s not just passengers acting without consideration for crew members. It shows up in the way they treat fellow passengers. Someone who cuts in line because they think their request matters more. Or when a taller passenger hovers behind someone shorter and calls an order over their shoulder, putting the server in an awkward position.
None of it has to be loud to be obvious. But it unfortunately happens more often than cruisers realize. The rude passengers think they’re dealing with staff below them. Everyone else sees how they deal with people.
As one person said, “You can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat servers or others they may never see again.”
Other Passengers Are Judging You, Not the Crew
The part rude passengers miss is that they are not making crew members look bad. They are putting themselves under the spotlight.
The crew member will, of course, smile—it’s their job. The bartender will say, “Of course, sir or ma’am, right away.” The dining room server may nod and bring the side dish without a flicker of irritation.
But the table beside them saw it. The couple at the bar saw it and passed judgment. The person behind them in the buffet line quietly shook their head.
It’s in these moments that you can feel the tension in the room shift. Conversation dips. Eyes move. Someone nudges their companion and nods their head in the direction of the passenger. All because a cruiser thought they were entitled to make someone doing their job feel small.
What Crew Remember, Even If They Stay Polite
Crew members are human. It is fair to assume the worst interactions do not vanish the second the passenger walks away. Experienced cruisers often say kindness is remembered, and obnoxious behavior onboard is remembered too.
That’s the thing. Experienced cruisers often say good moments get noticed too. For example, the passenger who always says “please” and “thank you.” The ones who remember names and ask how their day is going. Or the one who treats a busy server like a person, not a button to press. Small courtesies stand out a mile on a long shift.
What some passengers forget is that rude behavior doesn’t make crew members eager to please. It’s not revenge. It’s human nature. If one passenger is kind and generous and another clicks, snaps, and complains, which one do you think the crew member is genuinely happier to see again?
The Easiest Way Not to Be That Passenger
It doesn’t take much to avoid being the passenger whom the crew remembers for all the wrong reasons.
A little patience and courtesy go a long way on a cruise ship. Use a crew member’s name if you know it. Say please. Wait for your turn. Make eye contact when speaking. And avoid snapping, tapping, barking, whistling, or clicking to get attention.
Remember, if service feels slow, pause for a second. That crew member may be juggling ten things at once that you don’t see.
The Moment That Tells Everyone Who You Are
That finger snap at the bar does more than get a drink ordered. Others generally interpret it as rude, entitled behavior.
The crew member will smile, take the order, and move on. It’s all part of their job. But other passengers remember the gesture. They remember the tone. They remember the way one passenger treated someone who couldn’t really talk back.
Have you ever witnessed a passenger being rude to a cruise crew member? What happened? Tell us below—the crew may not be able to say it in the moment, but you can.
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